See, here's the thing...

We have to take our clothes off

We have to party all night

We have to take our clothes off

To have a good time!

That's all very well and good, but what if your body is less than clothes-off worthy? With the weather heating up (theoretically speaking) and summer about to bludgeon us on the back of the head....

...what is your torture of choice to get into shape?

As like most people, I head off to my nearest gym and jostle for position on the machines....which I hate, by the way. Now I know you're not expecting and possibly cringing at the thought of a "how to gym..." post. (If that's what you were expecting, you don't know me and get the fuck out of here!)

I am, however, going to post my top 9 gym irritations:

9.

Deodorant-deficient body builders

8.

Ponytail poppies (see "models") using the gym as a social catch up and gossip arena (easily recognisable by their straightened hair, perfectly applied make up and fake french tip nails.)

7.

Sweaty handles and seats on the machines....gym towels people!

6.

Nose-wipers in the pool...nuff said!

5.

Over the top serious gymers...none of us really want to be here at 5am each morning, so chill the fuck out, go home and binge eat that last packet of oreos.

4.

I-have-a-towel-but-choose-not-to-use-it-after-showers-so-I-walk-around-naked-in-the-change rooms people (not to be confused with the I-have-a-towel-but-it's-too-small-to-cover-my-bits-so-I-just-tie-it-around-my-waist/hang-it-over-my-shoulder people)

3.

Half-dressed old ladies with their bon-bons out while they get dressed in the change rooms. Thank you for that enticing look into the future of the female anatomy....it's actually a really clever way to get more woman to opt into the boob-job craze!

2.

Naked-ass people sitting in the steam room or on the change room bench sans towel...just chilling after their shower, letting their sweat and ecoli encrust and ferment on communal areas.

1.

People bending over the apply cream to their feet/legs with their naked cellulite/pimply/stretch mark ass in the air....usually pointed at the door so every poor sap to enter the change room get this wondrous and retina-scarring view!

Moral of the story: You are at the gym for a reason. Cover it up!

[editors note: Huffy is in less than perfect shape herself and although she has very strong opinions of what should (and shouldn't) be on public display, she is very careful to cover her bon bons and Britney while in the change rooms. She is all for naked Sundays, but believes that some parts of your body should only be shared (purposefully or accidental) with your loved ones. They love you. They don't mind... or have a choice.]

PS: I have a feeling this post might become a repeat affair....send me your worst gym experiences....lets share!

Image: weheartit