MAKEUP, LIFE & THE FASHION INDUSTRY ~ EYES WIDE OPEN

I know it's been quiet around these parts and I apologise for perpetuating any abandonment issues, but it's been a busy month of self reflecting. I been experiencing something of a existential crisis, or a searching of the soul, if you will.

This industry can be tough. It's personal and bitchy and doesn't remember your name the next morning. It can become tedious trying to push onwards and upwards; bashing your head against the same wall expecting a different result is the definition of insanity, I believe. It can be a society of cronyism and missed calls and it's hard to make true connections.

I came to a point where I was wondering what it was all for....another smokey eye? Another top knot? Another gossip circle? I was feeling quite despondent and disillusioned. I become rather introverted in these situations and working through my emotions can be a rather slow and quicksand-ish process. I've been burnt enough times to question reaching out to anyone in the industry (even though there are still some amazing people out there).

It's taken me about a month and a holiday, to come full circle and remember that this is something I'm passionate about. Something I happen to be good at too. Self pity, although a real emotion, doesn't permit forward motion and I am the type of person who needs to be moving forward at all times. Some might consider it a flaw; I actually had one manager years ago who said "Candice, all you want to do is check things off your list.". I am still uncertain as to how that is an insult.

Work has been quiet and that has left me to the devices of my dark corners (distraction and busyness are also coping mechanisms of mine), so not being busy has forced me to look at and deal with the last year and all it has entailed. Now that I'm at a place of renewed strength and passion, I realize a month of quiet is just what I needed. I was sick on-and-off for a few weeks so gym was out of the question too, so I literally sat in the sun and worked out as much of it as I could.

Life is precious. We only have one. Sometimes we need to be reminded of this.

I have a new appreciation for those around me and for the incredible life I have. Sure I'm stressed about cash flow and hells yeah, I worry about reaching my full potential ....the difference is, I'm not going to let those things paralyse me anymore.

I've made a conscious decision to surround myself with like-minded people. I've got a slew of amazing shoots up my sleeve with some very cool peeps and there are some other very interesting opportunities on the horizon.

I needed that month of quiet reflection and I'm thankful for it now. There is nothing quite as beautiful or satisfying as knowing exactly where you are in your life; even if all you know is that you have no idea where you are. You follow?

So how does this affect my work and you as my friends and followers? Well, you can expect a lot more honesty from me. And better work too. Just because no one else is challenging me, doesn't me I have to stop challenging myself.

I am lucky enough to be going to Dubai next week to visit my sister for a whole 10 days! I am traveling with my mom and little bro (who is doing AMAZING things by the way...check out www.wmacnicol.com ) and I am seriously looking forward to some R&R&RT. Rest, relaxation and retail therapy. It's all so good for the soul.

After all of this, I guess I have some little pieces of advice for newbies in the industry....oh hell, who am I kidding, some of the old cronies could use this too:

1. It's tough, but keep pushing yourself. Even when the work is basic or the people are harsh. Go home and test something out on yourself or your boyfriend or your sister. Just keep working!

2. Network. It's truly about who you know. Be courteous and polite to people you don't like or who don't like you but don't feel pressured to make friends with everyone. True connections will happen organically.

3. Don't be jealous; be happy for fellow colleagues and their successes. Positives vibes, folks, positive vibes.

4. Enjoy your downtime, voluntarily or otherwise. Use it wisely.

5. Maintain a life and hobbies outside of the industry. This thing can suck you in and spit out your bones, so make sure it's not the entirety of your being. Be more than the fashion industry.

6. Be honest. About your work, your relationships and your goals. No false expectations here, no bullshit politics. Just be you.

7. Be bold, be brave, be boss.

Thank you all for your support and patience. Lord knows we'll make it through if we stick together ;)

xxx